After coming home from Singapore, Daddy and I have decided that I should take the local boards for the fulfillment of our goals. I dreaded the thought of going back to school and reading loads of materials. Aside from that, my memory isn't in tip-top form anymore, or so I thought.
Actually, I almost chickened out. Thinking what if we decide to stay in the Philippines after all, what's the need for taking the local boards? And Daddy was telling me that if I really didn't want hospital work, no need to do it. So why take the boards if I won't be working in the hospital, right? BUT I was almost through with the review classes. We have paid the dues, bought the materials, I have spent uncountable hours pouring over pages and pages of Henry and review materials. So I thought, dear God, as always, I need your help.
Days before the exam was our mock boards. And my grades were miserable. I was all tense during the mock boards... To think that that wasn't the real thing yet! Thus, 2-3 days before the exam, I was still reviewing...Plus my self-esteem has gone way down. I kept on thinking, am not good at this, why do it? I was good at something else before (my job) and yet I let it go. Imagine, I was putting myself down!
One of my down afternoons, as I kept on memorizing must-know normal values and disease concepts (but still kept on forgetting some of them! Arghh!), I cried my heart out to Him. I kept on asking myself too many why's like: Why am I taking the boards when I am having a hard time re-learning hematology, blood banking, serology, etc.? Why am I here at home when I could be out there in the "busy" world making a living? Why did I ever think that I could actually do it in 2-3 months' time?
As tears kept rolling down my face, I decided to calm my sad heart and restless mind by reading Streams in the Desert. And I got my answer...
"MUST LIFE BE CONSIDERED A FAILURE FOR SOMEONE COMPELLED TO STAND STILL, FORCED INTO INACTION AND REQUIRED TO WATCH THE GREAT ROARING TIDES OF LIFE FROM SHORE? NO --- VICTORY IS THEN TO BE WON BY STANDING STILL AND QUIETLY WAITING. YET THIS IS A THOUSAND TIMES HARDER TO DO THAN IN THE PAST, WHEN YOU RUSHED HEADLONG INTO THE BUSYNESS OF LIFE. IT REQUIRES MUCH MORE COURAGE TO STAND AND WAIT AND STILL NOT LOSE HEART OR HOPE, TO SUBMIT TO THE WILL OF GOD, TO GIVE UP OPPORTUNITIES FOR WORK AND LEAVE HONORS TO OTHERS, AND TO BE QUIET, CONFIDENT AND REJOICING WHILE THE BUSY MULTITUDE GOES HAPPILY ALONG THEIR WAY."
After that, I felt better. Well, I still didn't know if I would pass or fail...But I felt that eventhough I am no longer in the office for 12 hours a day, moving out of my comfort zone is another challenge. I could get rewarded (by passing) or not (by failing). But I have stilled my heart enough to know that He has plans for me that I am yet to uncover. And if I get the reward that I wanted, better for me. If not, at least I tried...
On the day of the exams, well, I know that even days before the exam, my prayer warriors have been doing their best to help me. And from the bottom of my heart, thanks so much!!! You just don't know how much it means to me because it is hard to put into words...But I will be forever grateful. Because of your prayers, I wasn't so tense anymore on the day of the exam. Even Daddy was amazed at how relaxed I was after the exams.
It's been 4 days since the exam...and as my heart and mind were starting to get restless again, I got the very important text message from Mira (thanks so much dear!) and phone call from Daddy. I did it, friends and family! I am now a licensed Medical Technologist! Thanks so much for all the prayers and support. And most of all, thank God for his unending goodness!
Hospitals, here I come! :)
Actually, I almost chickened out. Thinking what if we decide to stay in the Philippines after all, what's the need for taking the local boards? And Daddy was telling me that if I really didn't want hospital work, no need to do it. So why take the boards if I won't be working in the hospital, right? BUT I was almost through with the review classes. We have paid the dues, bought the materials, I have spent uncountable hours pouring over pages and pages of Henry and review materials. So I thought, dear God, as always, I need your help.
Days before the exam was our mock boards. And my grades were miserable. I was all tense during the mock boards... To think that that wasn't the real thing yet! Thus, 2-3 days before the exam, I was still reviewing...Plus my self-esteem has gone way down. I kept on thinking, am not good at this, why do it? I was good at something else before (my job) and yet I let it go. Imagine, I was putting myself down!
One of my down afternoons, as I kept on memorizing must-know normal values and disease concepts (but still kept on forgetting some of them! Arghh!), I cried my heart out to Him. I kept on asking myself too many why's like: Why am I taking the boards when I am having a hard time re-learning hematology, blood banking, serology, etc.? Why am I here at home when I could be out there in the "busy" world making a living? Why did I ever think that I could actually do it in 2-3 months' time?
As tears kept rolling down my face, I decided to calm my sad heart and restless mind by reading Streams in the Desert. And I got my answer...
"MUST LIFE BE CONSIDERED A FAILURE FOR SOMEONE COMPELLED TO STAND STILL, FORCED INTO INACTION AND REQUIRED TO WATCH THE GREAT ROARING TIDES OF LIFE FROM SHORE? NO --- VICTORY IS THEN TO BE WON BY STANDING STILL AND QUIETLY WAITING. YET THIS IS A THOUSAND TIMES HARDER TO DO THAN IN THE PAST, WHEN YOU RUSHED HEADLONG INTO THE BUSYNESS OF LIFE. IT REQUIRES MUCH MORE COURAGE TO STAND AND WAIT AND STILL NOT LOSE HEART OR HOPE, TO SUBMIT TO THE WILL OF GOD, TO GIVE UP OPPORTUNITIES FOR WORK AND LEAVE HONORS TO OTHERS, AND TO BE QUIET, CONFIDENT AND REJOICING WHILE THE BUSY MULTITUDE GOES HAPPILY ALONG THEIR WAY."
After that, I felt better. Well, I still didn't know if I would pass or fail...But I felt that eventhough I am no longer in the office for 12 hours a day, moving out of my comfort zone is another challenge. I could get rewarded (by passing) or not (by failing). But I have stilled my heart enough to know that He has plans for me that I am yet to uncover. And if I get the reward that I wanted, better for me. If not, at least I tried...
On the day of the exams, well, I know that even days before the exam, my prayer warriors have been doing their best to help me. And from the bottom of my heart, thanks so much!!! You just don't know how much it means to me because it is hard to put into words...But I will be forever grateful. Because of your prayers, I wasn't so tense anymore on the day of the exam. Even Daddy was amazed at how relaxed I was after the exams.
It's been 4 days since the exam...and as my heart and mind were starting to get restless again, I got the very important text message from Mira (thanks so much dear!) and phone call from Daddy. I did it, friends and family! I am now a licensed Medical Technologist! Thanks so much for all the prayers and support. And most of all, thank God for his unending goodness!
Hospitals, here I come! :)
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