I Waited... But Not In Vain

For someone who is used to working since graduation, I found it difficult to be without work for six months after passing the board exams. In my previous post regarding that, I was exploding with enthusiasm in this new chapter in my life. I was armed with hope that I will land a job in one of the hospitals that I wanted to work in.
I passed the necessary requirements, went to exams and interviews. October flew by. Followed by November, and December, and January, and February, and March... I waited for the most anticipated phone call...But none came...
In the beginning, I was still enjoying my time as a full-time housewife. But when months kept on flying by... and I have read most of my husband's books... also learned how to cook... Paranoia and doubt crept in once in a while. Was I overage already? Is being a medical technologist not in God's will for my life? But how come He guided me to get passing marks? Because of these, there were days that I got sungit and easily irritated.
In February, my husband told me to start applying for other jobs aside from that of a medical technologist. He has identified my unemployment (actually it's the feeling of being unproductive) as the source of my negative emotions. Now, I have more options in finding work. So I did apply keeping in mind the priority of my applications:
Option #1: hospital/laboratory work as med. tech.
Option #2: full-time freelance or home-based work (so that if I get in for an externship program, I can do both)
Option #3: part-time medical indexing (where I used to work)
But still, the you-are-hired phone call remained elusive.
Days before my birthday, I was telling God aloud (when I was alone in the room) "Work ang gift mo sa akin di ba?" Another version was "Please dear God, work na lang regalo mo sa akin." On the same days that I pleaded to Him, and since my birthday is fast approaching, I started to assess my life. And found out quite a lot of enlightening revelations.

FRUITS OF THE LONG WAIT
For the past months, yes, I waited. Patiently and otherwise... but He didn't make me wait in vain. Because as I was waiting for the fulfillment of one of my heart's desires, without realizing it, He was teaching me far more important things.
I learned that sometimes, I was looking for a life-changing event to realize that I have been infinitely blessed. Since I was focusing my attention on finding a job, I sometimes forgot to realize that my waking up that morning was already a miracle. The fact that I am still spending precious moments with my husband and loved ones is an immeasurable gift. He has blessed me because I am now already 31 years old - alive and kicking!
I also realized that more than boredom, the feeling of being unproductive was causing my negative emotions. I felt unproductive because I thought that being productive means getting a paycheck each month. I failed to see that beyond the paycheck, I was more than productive when I brought a smile to my husband's face with something that I did; when I was able to assist him with his needs; when I was able to do little things for my family. Whining because of my predicament meant that I forgot who my first priority is. And that is my husband! Later, God opened my eyes to the fact that I have been more than productive by serving His will -- which is to be a wife after His own heart.
Another precious moment was when I came to realize that acts of service is a strong love language for my husband. I may have thought that cooking for him, keeping the room clean, etc. were menial tasks. I neglected the fact that he was sweeter whenever I did something for him. He kisses and hugs me more whenever he liked what I cooked. Thank God I was able to realize this!

BLESSED TO THE nth POWER
Aside from the blessings that I received while waiting... I am yet to be blessed even more. Indeed, He is a very generous God!
On my birthday, I received an unexpected phone call. I was to go to a hospital for an exam and interview. At the back of my mind, I was confident ("Sabi ko na nga ba Lord eh, work ang gift mo sa akin.") and yet doubtful ("Ito na nga ba yung gift mo Lord?"). So the following morning, I went in for the exam and interview. Goodness, there were lots of applicants! Apparently, a training program will be opened for aspiring medical technologists. Before noon, I was done with the exams and was told to come back by 1:30 for the initial interview. The interview didn't materialize until around 3... Thank God for my lessons in waiting! So patiently, I waited. After the interview, five of us went to the laboratory department head for the final interview. Wow, I didn't think that the process would be this quick! Around 5:30 in the afternoon, I received the results... I got in! Whew! Thank you Lord! That afternoon, I got my confirmation... "Work nga ang regalo mo sa akin, Lord. Thank you so much."
I spent the next two days in the hospital for the medical exam, submission of requirements, and orientation. For three days, I was there the whole day... patiently waiting in line. By Friday, God has granted the fulfillment of my option #1!
On my way home on Friday, I received a text message which I have been waiting for the past months. A good friend and previous officemate of mine will now be my part-time boss. Option #3 granted!
And the other day, when I checked my emails, I am ready to start the trial period for a home-based editing job. Option #2 granted!

I have been blessed to the nth power! And now, it will be up to my God-given free will to choose which path I would take. Thank you Lord for making me wait for the past months! Indeed, You have helped me prepare for all the blessings that You are to shower upon me. I am now ready to choose, knowing that whatever choice I make, You will bless me even more. And with my choice, I must be sure never to forget that Your will for me, first and foremost, is to become a wife after Your own heart.
I waited, but not in vain... Because with the long wait, You have blessed me immeasurably. The wait was worthwhile and the learnings are priceless. Thank You so much!

Thanks also to the people who prayed for me; Daddylove for always trying to understand and be patient; Salas, Saludares, Silo, Rala, LOJ, and JOLOGS families for the support and prayers. Love you all!

Parental Control

I stumbled upon an interesting show at ETC -- Parental Control. It caught my attention. The show gives parents a chance to choose two men whom they would want to go out with their daughter (am yet to see a show featuring a son). I believe this features parents who are unhappy with their daughter's choice (meaning current boyfriend). Thus, they get to choose their preferred men and the chosen ones get to date their daughter for a day. In the episode that I got to watch, their daughter ditched her current boyfriend. Much to her parents relief and happiness!

And this got me to think about Mimi. For so many times, we were at opposite ends when it came to my choice of a boyfriend. This went on for a very long time. And the hardheaded me always went on with the relationship. Very much to her disappointment...(Bad ko ba??)
And then, there was a time (actually I believe there were 2 of them) when Dad had to "remind" me of Mimi's feelings. Both via emails...In one, he told me to stop seeing the guy because it saddens Mimi that I am still going out with him. Another was when he told me to take the time in getting to know the person I was with before deciding to settle down. Both relationships ended...much to my parents' relief! But they didn't end right after I heard/read their reminders...The stubborn me wanted to see for myself if they were right. (Bad nga 'ata ako.)
I bet had there been a show entitled "Parental Control," they would have jumped at the opportunity to show me what the world has to offer. Those times, since I thought I was in love with the right man I felt controlled by Mimi and Dad. I sometimes thought "How dare them impose on me? They don't know my boyfriend as much as I do. They should give us a chance!" As much as I wanted to respect their opinions and feelings I stayed on with the relationship that they didn't approve of. (Tigas ng ulo ko noh?)

And then, another parent of mine (and yours, too) entered the picture. Well, He's always in our lives... every minute... every second... Using Mimi and Dad to keep on reminding me every chance they got, He also gave me the time to find out for myself. I guess every person has felt how it's like to be in a budding relationship... you get too focused on the in-love feeling that you forget the voice of wisdom and reason. But since my second parent gave me free will, as the relationships went on, I realized that as much as I feel in-love with the person, there are just a lot of things that we don't agree on. And He kept on showing me those instances... To make me realize my negotiables and non-negotiables (as Bro. Bo Sanchez would put it).

I may have put Mimi and Dad under too much stress in worrying that I might end up with the wrong man. But I guess they are happy now...Knowing that although I acted deaf during the times that they kept on reminding me, their reminders didn't actually fall on deaf ears... Somewhere, somehow, no matter how hardheaded or stubborn I was, their reminders were firmly planted in my heart and in my mind...And with their fervent prayers, I was able to find the man that I was really looking for. Because all along, getting their approval was a must for me.

Thanks, Mimi and Dad! And thanks to you, Lord!

The Story of Us

Last October 4, we watched the movie The Story of Us to begin the teaching series for the LOJ-Couples Ministry (I am inviting all newlyweds and engaged couples to attend. Please text me at 09272816620 for details.).

I remember watching the same film years back. Although I found the movie enlightening and entertaining, I didn't appreciate it as much as I do now that I am married myself.

The Story of Us is about a married couple who have grown apart (as evidenced by the silences they shared as conversations because they would rather be silent than arguing) and is just waiting for the right time to break the news to their kids. In their struggle to find the answers to the why's and how's, both characters are often lost in thought and reminiscing -- to the 1st day they met at work, their children's birth, raising the kids, etc.

Being married for nine months now (how fast time really flies!), I found myself nodding in agreement to most of the scenes in the movie. But two scenes stand out in my memory:

Scene 1: Husband and wife in the bedroom, talking. With their respective (imaginary) parents on each side.

Scene 2: The kids are back from camp and it's time to tell them of the big change. And the wife tells the husband: "That's not why I'm saying Chow Funs. I'm saying Chow Funs because we're an us. There's a history here, and histories don't happen overnight. In Mesopotamia or Ancient Troy there are cities built on top of other cities, but I don't want another city, I like this city. I know what kind of mood you're in when you wake up, which eyebrow is higher, and you know I'm a little quiet in the morning and compensate accordingly. That's a dance you perfect over time. And it's hard, it's much harder than I thought it would be, but there's more good than bad and you don't just give up! And it's not for the sake of the children, but God they're great kids aren't they? And we made them, I mean think about that! It's like there were no people there, and then there were people and they grew, and an an an...I won't be able to say to some stranger Josh has your hands or remember how Erin threw up at the Lincoln Memorial. I'll try to relax, let's face it, anybody is going to have traits that get on your nerves, I mean, why shouldn't it be your annoying traits, and I know I'm no day at the beach, but I do have a good sense of direction so I can at least find the beach, which isn't a weakness of yours, it's a strength of mine. And God you're a good friend and good friends are hard to find. Charlotte said that in Charlotte's Web and I love how you read that to Erin and you take on the voice of Wilber the Pig with such dedication even when you're bone tired. That speaks volumes about character! And ultimately, isn't that what it comes down too? What a person is made of? That girl in the pin helmet is still here 'bee boo bee boo' I didn't even know she existed until you. And I'm afraid if you leave I may never see her again, even though I said at times you beat her out of me, isn't that the paradox? Haven't we hit the essential paradox? Give and take, push and pull, yin and yang. The best of times, the worst of times!... I think Dickens said it best, 'He could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean', but doesn't really doesn't really apply here does it? What I'm trying to say is, I'm saying Chow Funs because, I love you.

I have been married to my best friend for nine months already. We have a 12-year history of being best of friends. But still, more revelations unfold as we spend our lives together. The revelations result from the fact that Daddy and I are different (we were raised by different parents; we have different likes and dislikes) -- which is the message in scene 1.

For instance, when Daddy and I don't agree on something, I always end up retreating to my own quiet place and Daddy is the type who would prefer discussing it. Thankfully, having known each other for the past 12 years has enabled us to be sensitive, understanding and patient of each other. And our various personal experiences have made us mature enough to know that our relationship, just like any other relationship, entails work for it to succeed.

Marriage is a journey we vowed to take through thick and thin, in sickness and in health until death do us part. We had a history...and as each day unfolds, we are adding up more to that history. As we try to perfect our own dance, we simply hold onto our love and faith...believing in the knowledge that happily ever after doesn't begin fairytales, does it? On the contrary, happily ever after is the result of love, commitment and faith conquering the challenges.

May all married couples find their own happily ever after.

The Past Three Months: My Journey

After coming home from Singapore, Daddy and I have decided that I should take the local boards for the fulfillment of our goals. I dreaded the thought of going back to school and reading loads of materials. Aside from that, my memory isn't in tip-top form anymore, or so I thought.
Actually, I almost chickened out. Thinking what if we decide to stay in the Philippines after all, what's the need for taking the local boards? And Daddy was telling me that if I really didn't want hospital work, no need to do it. So why take the boards if I won't be working in the hospital, right? BUT I was almost through with the review classes. We have paid the dues, bought the materials, I have spent uncountable hours pouring over pages and pages of Henry and review materials. So I thought, dear God, as always, I need your help.

Days before the exam was our mock boards. And my grades were miserable. I was all tense during the mock boards... To think that that wasn't the real thing yet! Thus, 2-3 days before the exam, I was still reviewing...Plus my self-esteem has gone way down. I kept on thinking, am not good at this, why do it? I was good at something else before (my job) and yet I let it go. Imagine, I was putting myself down!

One of my down afternoons, as I kept on memorizing must-know normal values and disease concepts (but still kept on forgetting some of them! Arghh!), I cried my heart out to Him. I kept on asking myself too many why's like: Why am I taking the boards when I am having a hard time re-learning hematology, blood banking, serology, etc.? Why am I here at home when I could be out there in the "busy" world making a living? Why did I ever think that I could actually do it in 2-3 months' time?

As tears kept rolling down my face, I decided to calm my sad heart and restless mind by reading Streams in the Desert. And I got my answer...

"MUST LIFE BE CONSIDERED A FAILURE FOR SOMEONE COMPELLED TO STAND STILL, FORCED INTO INACTION AND REQUIRED TO WATCH THE GREAT ROARING TIDES OF LIFE FROM SHORE? NO --- VICTORY IS THEN TO BE WON BY STANDING STILL AND QUIETLY WAITING. YET THIS IS A THOUSAND TIMES HARDER TO DO THAN IN THE PAST, WHEN YOU RUSHED HEADLONG INTO THE BUSYNESS OF LIFE. IT REQUIRES MUCH MORE COURAGE TO STAND AND WAIT AND STILL NOT LOSE HEART OR HOPE, TO SUBMIT TO THE WILL OF GOD, TO GIVE UP OPPORTUNITIES FOR WORK AND LEAVE HONORS TO OTHERS, AND TO BE QUIET, CONFIDENT AND REJOICING WHILE THE BUSY MULTITUDE GOES HAPPILY ALONG THEIR WAY."

After that, I felt better. Well, I still didn't know if I would pass or fail...But I felt that eventhough I am no longer in the office for 12 hours a day, moving out of my comfort zone is another challenge. I could get rewarded (by passing) or not (by failing). But I have stilled my heart enough to know that He has plans for me that I am yet to uncover. And if I get the reward that I wanted, better for me. If not, at least I tried...

On the day of the exams, well, I know that even days before the exam, my prayer warriors have been doing their best to help me. And from the bottom of my heart, thanks so much!!! You just don't know how much it means to me because it is hard to put into words...But I will be forever grateful. Because of your prayers, I wasn't so tense anymore on the day of the exam. Even Daddy was amazed at how relaxed I was after the exams.

It's been 4 days since the exam...and as my heart and mind were starting to get restless again, I got the very important text message from Mira (thanks so much dear!) and phone call from Daddy. I did it, friends and family! I am now a licensed Medical Technologist! Thanks so much for all the prayers and support. And most of all, thank God for his unending goodness!

Hospitals, here I come! :)

Floods...past, present, and future

Today, my back aches... my arms ache a bit... even my buns ache!

Yesterday, as the rains kept on pouring. And Nanay and I kept on silently praying for the rain to stop...the inevitable happened (again). The flood came. Well, I won't be talking about how we tried to get all the water out of the house and the terrace. Just a while ago, before I was about to start reading I started reminiscing of yesterday's events -- How Nanay and I swapped stories about floods, etc. And speaking of floods, my memories came back to more than 20 years ago.

The Past
Memories of floods took me to San Fernando, Pampanga... where I was born and where we lived until I was around Grade 2. The place easily flooded also. And during the flood, just like any youngster, we tried to catch fish or wade in the water. And when the floods get too high, Daddy would put us in a floater with a wood under it para naman nakaupo kami. And we will "tour" the front of our house. We had lots of fun!

It also brought me back to Los Baños when we lived in a house with a really huge backyard. After any storm, my siblings and I would start helping Mommy clean the yard. We had our designated areas then. And of course, while cleaning we would also fool around. That cleaning the yard would take us the entire day! :)

And I started missing my family. Most of my siblings are married now, except for our dear bunso. And I know how lonely it might be at the house. I only hope that someday soon, we could all get together and have fun... Just like when we were still young that we were each other's playmates. And Mimi would end up complaining of our noise, hehehe. How time flies!!!

The Present
The flood left a messy trail of trash and mud in the streets... And it got me thinking again... How irresponsible some people get that they take the environment for granted. If only all of us would be educated on the wrong things that we do to the environment.

The Future
Daddylove and I watched the documentary "The Inconvenient Truth" and got touched by it. Please do watch it also. And let's always put the message to heart. We need to make lifestyle changes in order to save the environment. It's not always easy to undergo change. But if the future of our families and Mother Earth is in our hands... What are we waiting for?
Do check out www.climatecrisis.com for more info.